Ways to Deal with Temper Tantrums
Parents always get into this stage when their kids have tantrums when things don’t go their way. Tantrums are unpleasant and usually embarrassing, but this is normal for kids two to three years of age. These kids are still trying to discover what works and what doesn’t, and do not have the language to express themselves properly. You, as a parent, need to help your kids improve on how they must express themselves and regulate their emotions the right away. Try these top 10 ways to deal with temper tantrums.
Check Your Own Temper
When a child goes into tantrums, you have to maintain a calm attitude. You will not go anywhere with your child if both of you are screaming at each other. Even spanking or hurting them will not yield good results. It will just worsen the scenario. Relax, take a deep breath, control your emotions, and then talk to your child calmly but firmly while reminding him that tantrums are not acceptable and will not give him what he wants.
Ignore The Kid
This will really work. When a child is having a tantrum, he is out of his mind; his emotions are taking over and no one can calm him down. Reasoning with him will not work because the reasoning part of his brain is not working. If you try to console your child, it might just make matters worse. Ignore him. When he calms down, you can then talk to him.
Give Your Child Space
Just like adults, kids also need some time to let out their anger and bad feelings. Let him be. He can cry, scream, roll over and do what he wants to do. Just make sure that the area is child-proof and that no object may hurt him. This method is a very effective of helping children vent out emotions in a nondestructive way. They will be able to express their feelings, gain composure and regain their usual happy disposition.
Find out What’s Causing the Frustration
Children have thoughts and wishes and needs which sometimes they cannot voice out properly. When you misunderstand or don’t get the message, he gets frustrated and freaks out. Use sign language, especially for kids below three years old. You can teach your child to sign a few key words for things that he might like. You can also ask your child to show you what she wants which is quite easy for her as she has difficulty finding the right words to say. For example, if she points to her older brother, it might mean that he took something from his little sister and you can then ask him to return it.
Create a Diversion
After your child calms down, engage her in something interesting so she forgets about the meltdown. When you go to the supermarket, you can bring along her favorite doll or toy, snacks, and books. Sometimes, when they are distracted from their object of frustration, they will forget about it and get occupied with the new interesting thing you are showing them. Children have short attention spans and easily get diverted. Be creative when doing so to make it more effective.
Don’t Give In
Dealing with temper tantrums is not easy; but no matter what, don’t give in to your child’s unacceptable behavior. If he starts screaming because you won’t buy him a toy, don’t buy him one. Once you give in, he will see this as a way of getting things easily in the future. It might bring relief temporarily but you will suffer in the long run. Teach your kid how to manage his uncomfortable feelings rather than having a tantrum. You can teach him to take deep breaths when he’s frustrated or say, “I’m mad.”
Laugh it Off
Just the thought of your child going wild in public is horrific. This is because you are concerned as to how others will think of you as a mom; they might think that you raised a demon or that you are a bad parent. Sometimes, when kids will display unacceptable behavior in public when they don’t get what they want and out of embarrassment or frustration, you easily give in. This makes them think that their behavior works. Suck it up, put a smile on your face, and just pretend everything is okay. People will see you that you know how to deal with your child and that you are a good mom.
Give Rewards for Managing Feelings Appropriately
Rewards always work for kids especially when they do something right. You may give positive attention or praise them for managing their feelings and be specific. If your kid behaved well during a trip to the supermarket, you can directly tell your kid about it. You can also give something that will remind him of his good behavior like stickers or toys. Just make it as simple as possible.
Plenty of Hugs
When your child gets frustrated, it must be because he wants your attention or feels unattended. Once he starts acting uneasy and cries, give him a big firm hug without a word. When kids are hugged, they feel secure and that you care for them, even if their behavior is unacceptable. Hugs make them feel safe and loved.
Get Out Of There
When kids freak out, remove them from the situation. Sometimes, when a child starts a meltdown over a candy bar or toy that he wants, pick him up and bring him to a different aisle in the store or outside until he regains his control. This is the best way to deal with tantrums.
Temper tantrums may be normal for toddlers and pre-school kids, and dealing with them is not that easy. Make sure to maintain a loving attitude towards your child and keep him feel safe and secure even if you discipline him with his unacceptable behavior.